walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize