I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
