i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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