i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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