So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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