Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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