So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
