Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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