I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.