By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
