none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Dignity is for republicans.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
