Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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