Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize