U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
