Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
