maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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