Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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