I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
