I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
if only i could text you this smell
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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