So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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