names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize