I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
So much rum. So many feels.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
