a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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