I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize