I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Ketchup is God's man juice
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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