why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
