I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
