marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
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