You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
