I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
