we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
