gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
this just has baby written all over it
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
