just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
