Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
