I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It's blow job season.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
