You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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