Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
