Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
