That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
