So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize