You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize