so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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