she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
