found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Still dying that you shit outside
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
