nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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