her vagina looked like bernie madoff
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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