They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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