just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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