ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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