No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
