They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
