you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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