She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
