I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
