It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
