My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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