having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You have to summon your inner elephant
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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