my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
