took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
home. puking in laundry basket.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize