I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
