Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize