it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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