So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
This is classic penis vs brain.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
