Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
